Can you be a fashionista at any size?

If a women is healthy and comfortable in her skin than I think the answer to the above question is YES! I maybe be a size __(no no I am not telling you yet) but I can work it! Smizing with my eyes Tyra Banks would not know what hit her, hell I use the hallway here at school to practice my runway walk! So than, if the women is the main character in this story the clothes are the supporting cast. Clothes can either accentuate the positive or negative in a women's shape and I have examples of both.

As you have read before shopping is my favorite pastime, or was I should say! So I put a lot of thought into what I buy and how it looks on me. Don't get me wrong there are days that I have a baseball hat on, jeans and a t-shirt as my students can attest to, but for the most time I think I look good! I think it is because I know my size and I know what is appropriate for my body type. There are so many stereotypes when it comes to larger women, that when you see a larger women put together some of the stereotypes can be broken.

On that same note when you see a larger women where something 4 times smaller than she should all these thoughts come rushing to your head or a least they do for me. I was at Disney World a few weeks ago and the last hour and a half I people watched. OMG it is amazing what you can see. Disney World is a place with all walks of life and I could not believe what some of the women were wearing. So OK I know Orlando is super hot and humid but I wore carpi's each day because there was no way anyone was going to see me in shorts. I guess some of these women did not give a damn because I saw things that unfortunately will be burned in my mind forever! I often wonder what goes through someones head: did you look in the mirror? Do you think that if you wear something that is way too small that you look thinner? I don't know and maybe they are happy with themselves that these women can put it all out there and feel good about it. I could not do it, if I feel uncomfortable with something that I am wearing you can see it all over my face. So I guess I should applaud them? Although I have to say I don't really want to see it.

OK so I know what you're saying: who am I to judge? and I don't think that I am(well maybe a little) but I wonder the difference between me and them. I have had to be conscious of my weight my entire life( I was a dancer in my former life) and even at my heaviest I still made sure I look good walking out my door maybe even more than I did when I was thin because I did not want someone like me to judge well me. So ponder away I will,but at the end of the day I still think to the question above: Can you be a fashionista at any size? the answer is yes!

Till tomorrow
H

What's different!

Yesterday my new boss came into the office after being on vacation for a couple of weeks and I stopped him dead in his tracks. How you might say, well he has not seen me in about a month so he walked in and says "What's different!" "What do you mean" I say "well there is really something different about you and I can't put my finger on it"

Yes there is something very different about me and I not just talking about weight loss. Let's face it 10 pounds is great but it is not enough to make people really see a change. You have the physical change; working out helps with sleep, digestive, and just gives you more energy. But I do believe there is loads more to this. I have a "glow" if you will. The fact that I have faith that I WILL accomplish this goal I think has made the biggest difference.

There is a quiet confidence that I have now that I didn't a month ago. What changed, why did I wake up one morning and say enough was enough. Well I decided that I was not going to let the circumstances around me define who I am. For me this last year was the year from hell. With health issues and a lot of crazy around me I just got into a trap and I was miserable. So a month ago I said I may not be able to change the things around me but I can change my attitude towards them. The funny thing is friends and family have been telling me that for years but I am stubborn and until I figured this out on my own I would not have made these changes. But to be totally honest with you I don't think I would have been as successful two years ago. It was like all the stars aligned and said you are ready now.

So on I go with the knowledge that I might not be able to control things around me but I am able to control my response. I tell you what I think I am going to let my therapist go do I need her anymore?

Good day to you!
H

Shopping: Can I give this vice up as well!

It's complicated. I LOVE to shop it is by far my favorite past time. Saying that though there really is no point for me to shop. I have so many clothes in my closet that are one to two sizes smaller than I am now, that it just doesn't make sense to buy clothes that won't fit in two months. Already I have some pants that are to big and shirts that are loose around the middle! Which is amazing, so see my dilemma what do I do.

Well there are categories. Anyone who knows me KNOWS that I love handbags and shoes. And not just any handbags but Coach handbags and shoes. Now I know I act as if I make a million dollars a year but I do get some deals and have a friend at the Coach shop at North Park that helps a sista out. So that feeds the beast a couple of times a year, but shoes I can't really buy those either. My feet will loose weight in them so what is the point of buying new shoes that won't fit in 6 months.

So help! What vices are left. Stopped the food, I am not drinking, and now no shopping! What would my therapist say! What is so funny about all this is that my Lane Bryant card(shop for bigger women) just upped my limit. Can you believe it! I have not shopped for a couple of months so they up my limit on my credit card. Are they trying to sabotage me?

Well they funny thing about all this is that I am feeling so good that I don't need any of the things above to make me feel better. Which let's face it that's what I was trying to do with everything is just make me feel better or maybe feel something. I don't miss the shopping or food which is the most ironic thing of all. I make this new "lifestyle" choice and so many of my demons have gone away or if they are still there I don't feel them.

So we wait till Christmas for the new bag(because yes I will get a bag at Christmas and that is ok) and I continue surprising myself with the will power that I thought I never had!

Till tomorrow!
H

GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

In the spirit of the world cup I am going to talk about goals! Sorry USA but go England! So I have my big goal of 125 pounds in a year, but that is sometimes quite hard to wrap my head around so I have decided to make mini goals.

My 36 birthday is coming up on August 20th so the first goal is to loose 36 pounds by my b-day! Since I have almost lost 10 pounds that only leaves me with 26 more in 7 weeks. I think this is totally doable and think this would be a great birthday present to me! Side note: all other presents that would like to be given would be greatly welcomed!

I have other small goals in mind for when I meet the first, but I need to stay on course and just focus on the above. I do have to say that I am feeling a little overwhelmed with all of this today. I am even having trouble writing today but I don't know why. Maybe it is talking about the goals and being afraid of not succeeding because for me failure is not an option. I can't let these negative thoughts get in my way! So I will pick myself up enjoy the day with my friends and remember this is not a diet but a lifestyle change.

OK so that is all for today I hope everyone has a great day and I will talk with you guys tomorrow!

H

2nd Weigh Day!

Today I felt like a kid at Christmas! I woke up at 6:30 a.m. and sprung out of bed ready to weigh myself as that it has been a week since my last weigh! I get on the scale 5 pounds, 5 pounds, I am telling myself. I worked so hard this week. 4 times working out! My butt is sill sore from all the walking and my arms are kinda like noodles from lifting weights. I have had so much water I could float down to the coast! So I know the results are going to payoff right!

So as my palms are sweaty and my heart is racing I get on the scale. The zero light blinks three times and I close my eyes and look down open and 1.8 pounds. REALLY! I am so disappointed how can it only be 1.8 pounds I worked my ass off this week literally and this is my results.

OK so I know what some are saying it is a loss, Rome was not built in a day, you did not put all the weight on in a week, and I get that. But coming off a 8.5 week I was hoping for 5 pounds.

Next week who knows and I can only take it week by week, and I have my workout classes all set for next week so I pick myself up get a bottle of water and do this all over again.

I also have to say that I have some amazing friends, last night during my happy hour I did get tea instead of anything else and when I got up to leave they gave a me a round of applause for working so hard this week. It is so nice to have friends that are so supportive! This will help as I move through this year. Thank you guys I love you!

Well that is it for today thanks for listening (or reading)!

H

The decision has been made!

So I was not going to write today because I am not feeling very well. You ask why? Well I went to a friends for dinner and had 4 glasses of white wine and I am hanging today. Now I had these glasses in a 5 hour period and I have drunk way more in the past, but I think that we me changing my eating habits my tolerance has diminished!

So I have made the decision NO MORE BOOZE! It hurts just writing that but it will help me to my goal faster. Not to say that if there is a special occasion or something I will have a glass or two but the week to week drinking is done.

Now to my Friday night happy hour buddies, I will still come but will have ice tea or water. Not as glamours I know, but when I get to my goal I will make it up to you.

Well in the words of Forrest Gump "that's all I have to say about that." So I leave you now to go get more Advil and water.

Also I am excited because tomorrow is weigh day! It has been a long time since I was excited about getting on a scale!

See ya tomorrow!
H

Why does American want me fat!

So ok the above statement is a little dramatic, but anyone who knows me knows that I have flare for the dramatic! Seriously though as I take stock in my old lifestyle and the new one I can't help but see and hear all the adds for fatty foods on TV and radio. Even now as I listen to my Pandora on my computer the background is a huge BIG MAC.

Don't get me wrong we all have free will and no one makes us get in the drive thru lane and put the burger to our mouth's, but at what point do we say enough is enough. I just saw on the news yesterday that there is a new burger at Friendly's which has a patty with cheese, and the bread is a grilled cheese sandwich for the top bun and another grill cheese sandwich for the bottom bun. I mean really why is that necessary to have all that; the calories, fat and sodium are more than you need for two days SERIOUSLY! And if that is not enough KFC has a chicken sandwich that there is no buns they just use two fried chicken breasts on top and bottom with some mayo, cheese, and bacon of course.

As I look around there are so many people overweight and I am not judging by any means, but I just can't believe how bad the epidemic has become. The last week we have had some guests here and they are all music teachers taking a seminar and I can't believe it, but I would say 3 out of 5 are overweight. Not just by 10 or 20 pounds but 50 to 100 pounds. That is staggering. Have we all become so complacent that we just say "oh well there is nothing I can do about it so dig in."

I also think that the fast food industry and the billion dollar weight loss industry are in this together. Let's get you fat and then let's take all your money to get it off of you! I don't know if that is true but it makes sense in my head.

I really do believe this generation will not out live their parents do to the choices that they are making. I want to not only be hot again without the weight but I am 4 years from 40 and I don't want to be on medication for blood pressure, diabetes, or worse. At what point to we say enough!

This blog was not as funny as some of the others but this is not a funny subject! It really concerns me and I feel that I am helpless against the disease of obesity. I realize that I am on my path but I want to help others to get healthy!

Anyway that's all for today!

Talk tomorrow
H

Alcohol and weight loss the great divide!

Day three of the blogging and I feel I can't go any further without breaching this subject! So I am two weeks into this "new lifestyle" and I can say that I have not backed off the cocktails. I was on vacation for the first week(best one in awhile) and I have to say I enjoyed EVERY drink that I had during that time! And the last week in a half I have gone out 3 0r 4 times. I get the fact that alcohol has so much sugar and therefore harder to loose the weight but do I have to give up everything!

So I have given up fast food all together! My Dr. Pepper gone! I was not really a sweet eater so not even an issue! And I can honestly say I don't miss any of them at all, well maybe the Dr. Pepper every once in awhile! But I am not ready to say no on the Alcohol.

I have friends say "well the weight will just fall off if you cut out the booze." OK but what about 8.5 pounds in one week is not the "weight falling off?" I know I know when I start to plateau this will be the next and final thing that I will have to say goodbye to a least for awhile, but for now it is not like I am drinking a 6 pack every night!

So the choices are wine instead of beer, vodka with cranberry instead of a margarita(which I am aware that a margarita is like the highest calorie drink no one fear I do know) and I have made better choices but in the words of of Will Ferrel in Old School about beer "it is so good when it touches my lips!" There is nothing like a COLD beer at the pool on a 100 degree day!

I have been drinking 8 to 9 bottles of water a day, no lie, so if I have a beer or three on a Friday or Saturday is this really sabotaging me?

This won't be my last blog on this subject! But I'm sure that some will have something to say so I welcome the comments!

All for today!
H

The SMU gym!

As most of you know I work for Southern Methodist University! Home of the new Bush library but that is a whole other blog! I am very fortunate to be able to use this gym for $10 a month and it is a state of the art gym so yea but comes the cheap workout fee are all the beautiful and skinny students that go here.

OK so yes these students are 18 to 24 so of course their bodies are going to be slender but do you really need all that makeup and your hair done to go to the gym. I feel a little under dressed in my sweat pants and t-shirt to go workout is that wrong?

Not that anyone is judging me hell they probably did not even notice(all though I am kinda hard to miss) but what a experiment in human nature to watch these students "workout"! The girls have their ipods in, hair in a pony tail and the latest in SMU gear and they just kinda walk around! Now the boys well they are just looking like something from West Side Story. Who can lift more? What does my pecks look like? Who is watching me? Don't get me wrong it is not a bad view by any means but it is funny. I am glad that I have something to watch as I am working out.

When I was done last night I was sweaty, mascara under my eyes and just kinda gross yet the girl walking out with me look fantastic. Either I am doing something wrong or right, I have not made my decision.

Well anyway another day done!

Till next time,
Heather

First day!

OK so here I go I am about to start blogging. If you would have told me a month ago that I would be blogging I would have said !@###@@@!

I have decided that I am going to discuss my year of weight loss. I think even if no one reads it It will be good for me.

I have started a weight loss and workout regime! I have lost 8.5 pounds and I am feeling great. I am not eating many carbs and trying to keep my calories to 12oo. The funny thing is that I am not missing food. I think I used food for soooooo long to bury my feelings that now that I am not caring about what I eat I am feeling things I have not felt in a long time.

Also I guess that my "new attitude" is showing because I am getting hit on and that has not happend in a while so YEAH!

I have also decieded that I am not going to grieve what I don't have and enjoy what I do have. I am 35 and single so I going to enjoy that!!!!

So that is it for my first blog felt good we will see what happens!

See ya
H